However, depending on their personalities, you may lose relation and some will want to duel you, or even worse, send their army at you.
As a female character, countering remarks from lords. Holding successful Feasts ( Warband only). Winning battles - The more the odds are stacked against you, the more renown you will earn, up to a maximum of 50 per battle. The other lords and rulers also have renown, which over time, assuming you are relatively successful, you will surpass. Your character's renown is basically how well known they are throughout Calradia or Eastern Europe. So in this way, you can join a faction already with some fiefs and you don't need a king to give you any kind of handouts.Renown will be earned by your character as you progress through the Mount&Blade games. This will reset my faction relationship away from being negative with the Nords and they won't attack my town and try to take it back. That means I can attack some villagers to get negative relationship with the Nords, then quickly steal Dhrim from the Nords, and then join the Khergits. The Nords are at war with Swadia and the Vaegirs. So for example, the Nords take Dhrim from Swadia. What you do is take note of what faction owns the fief right now, then see who they AREN'T at war with. They'll frequently leave less than 100 men in these towns after a siege. You want to wait for the war to intensify and for a town to get taken by another faction. You're looking to have some decently high tier units, because you'll be taking a town. So once you're rich, you can go recruit a band of guys and train them very well on sea raiders and bandits. And to avoid pissing off too many faction leaders. I'd suggest sparing a handful of villages and grinding up your relationship with those so you have a place to recruit troops from later on. The only negative is that it destroys your honor score, but you can just play as a vassal of a faction which mitigates that fairly well. So not only is this a great way to weaken a faction, make yourself rich and also grind renown, but the only thing you have to worry about are enemy bandit spawns, which might run from you if your small group of troops are really high leveled. Winning a 5 vs 61 battle will always give you the max 50 renown, and the amount is only lowered once your renown gets really high. 
Not only that, but the game gives you more renown for winning fights with very few troops against large forces.
Lords will be forced to stand and watch helplessly as you sack their villages and they can't do anything about it. Once you kill them all, you're free to raid the village, but this DOESN'T cause you to lose reputation with their faction. You can demand the villages give you free stuff and if you have under a certain number of troops, they'll instead decide to fight you.
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